It seems that you can’t have a job in this country without being subjected to pictures and videos of co-workers’ babies. Obviously, if I thought babies were cute, funny, adorable, precious, or any of the blatantly false adjectives thrown at infant photos and videos, then I would have one of my own. (Nightmare scenario.) I think kittens are cute, Will Ferrell is funny, puppies are adorable, and unicorns are precious. How would I describe babies? I wouldn’t. The absolute worst is when you’re subjected to pictures of co-workers’ nieces and/or nephews. I don’t want to look at my own nephews and I certainly couldn’t give a shit about yours.
The next time a colleague wastes my time circulating a YouTube video or slideshow of their grotesque infant, I’m going to circulate a glossy and bound photo collection of my cat puking on the carpets and pissing in the sink. Hopefully I can secure a shot of my cat pissing on a baby.