oh baby …

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It seems that you can’t have a job in this country without being subjected to pictures and videos of co-workers’ babies.  Obviously, if I thought babies were cute, funny, adorable, precious, or any of the blatantly false adjectives thrown at infant photos and videos, then I would have one of my own.  (Nightmare scenario.)  I think kittens are cute, Will Ferrell is funny, puppies are adorable, and unicorns are precious.  How would I describe babies?  I wouldn’t.  The absolute worst is when you’re subjected to pictures of co-workers’ nieces and/or nephews.  I don’t want to look at my own nephews and I certainly couldn’t give a shit about yours.

The next time a colleague wastes my time circulating a YouTube video or slideshow of their grotesque infant, I’m going to circulate a glossy and bound photo collection of my cat puking on the carpets and pissing in the sink.  Hopefully I can secure a shot of my cat pissing on a baby.

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