I have long suspected, but with my entrance onto the Twitter scene have verified, that famous and rich people are incredibly boring to follow. Miley Cyrus (10:13 a.m.) “Alt haircut central for suresies!!!” Kim Kardashian (9:45 p.m.) “Just ate a healthy dinner salad and bowl of money, mmmm!!!!” Kanye West (2:15 a.m.) “bottle service of liquid gold, yeeeeyah!” Boring, boring, boring. What would be truly interesting would be to follow really, really poor people. Bum #143,846: “pissed in the sleeping bag again god dammit!” Bum #724,331: “The ‘will smile for change’ sign scored me $5.12 and a half-eaten hotdog!” Hooker #34,609: “trick ran me out a fitty spot and done stole my bottle, dayum!” Poor twenty-something: “What’s the best way to mix pickles, honey, and mustard?”
I recognize the biggest obstacle to turning this into a reality is the obvious lack of technology afforded the poor, so I am developing a pilot program that would provide a select group of truly disgusting, I mean disenfranchised, people with a 3G enabled iPad. I’m sure I can find funding through advertising from target market companies like Trojan, Old English, Dimatap, Sharpie, and grocery cart manufacturers. If you are interested in supporting this endeavor, send money. Lots of it.