Why I am avoiding the intern, for the record:
- I am already aware of her propensity for bad tattoos.
- I do not have any projects I need her to brutally destroy.
- I am caught up on all the relationship drama already.
- I cannot provide any badly needed psychological help or advice, aside from the following: “Quit this job. Please.”
- I can only be reminded so often how much I like cupcakes.
- She does not appear to own an outfit that does not highlight her vagina and I have no desire to look at it. Ever.
- I am fully aware there is coffee. There has been coffee in offices since the beginning of time, or shortly thereafter.
- If I wanted to be part of a mental breakdown today, I would have taken the day off to stay home and have my own.
- I do not wish to buy drugs, although that might change by this afternoon.