Blogging is Blonely

I’ve been blogging for about one month now and let me tell you, blogging is lonely. So is every Friday and Saturday that I opt to spend a fun night out with real people over getting shit hammered alone from boxed wine and talking to made-for-TV movies. But this is a different kind of lonely because while I’m used to real-world loneliness (which can generally be cured by candy and alcohol) Internet loneliness is a whole different animal and I imagine the only remedy is having more than three Twitter friends. Clearly a challenge.

Lonely people problems aside, when you have 0.28 readers a day, averaging out to 2 a week–OK it’s a good week–it’s hard to stay motivated. But like Will Farrell as George W. Bush, I’m staying the course, thousand points of light, strategery, all that. A few days ago, two people in Latvia viewed my blog. I know what you’re thinking–where the fuck is Latvia?! That, or you’re thinking–there has to be something better to do in Latvia than read this bullshit blog?! I’ve got news for you, though–Latvia is a Baltic state in Northern Europe, and there probably isn’t. My guess is that either the coolness of my blog has gone global, watch out Prestige Worldwide, or my WordPress and associated accounts have been hacked and one lucky Latvian is in possession of a shinny new email address and massively unsuccessful blog.

So, my 2 faithful readers (thanks mom and uncle Tim), here is what you have to look forward to from Cats in Your Pants in Self-Deprecation September: non-stop coverage of TLC’s award-winning programs; pictures of my cat, Cat Painted; How To instructions for alienating friends and family; and my patent-pending guide to maximizing emotional-eating weight gain. Or, if you’re not into those scintillating topics, email me and just tell me what to blog about. So stay tuned! If it isn’t awesome, then have another drink and read it again.

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