Glamourpuss could pee on this

Wandering aimlessly and slightly buzzed by myself recently (my general state of being), I passed a bookstore and–remembering the lost human art of reading–went in to see if they served alcohol. They didn’t and on my way out of the store, stomping in protest the whole way, I came across a few “books” that should surely be manufactured into a YouTube video or XM radio spot so that the rest of the world can appreciate their content. God knows no one reads these days …

The first book was called Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs.  Now, I pride myself on two things in life: 1) being impeccably well-versed in offensive content and 2) being in ‘the know’ when it comes to everything and anything feline.  Apparently the latter, at least, is not true, because I had no idea that kitty wigs were available and/or “in,” but holy shit are they enchanting! They made these cats look like people I would want to be friends with and added a whole new layer of intrigue to feline fashion. I was meowstified and meowsmerized. The second book was titled I Could Pee On This and is, naturally, a collection of poems penned by cats.  (If my cat wrote this, it would be called I Have Peed On This and Will Again.)  If you don’t think cats can write poems, I would remind you that we live in a world in which Snooki The Cow was able to write a book, so clearly cats can write poems.  It’s science.

I would have liked to spend more time in that store, but became incredibly distracted by the book about female ejaculation that was on the next shelf. I don’t know how I got there from cats and vegan cookbooks, nor do I know who that book was marketed to but it made me quickly realize that I was far too sober for that experience.

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