My bank texts me whenever my balance falls below a certain amount which, in practice, means they are constantly texting. And for some reason they see fit to text very early in the morning, when I’m not fully awake, haven’t had my coffee, and most likely am not even near being finished with my before-work cry. As if having to go to work day after day isn’t depressing enough, I have the practical equivalent of an alarm clock that tells me I have $3.78. Thankfully, I am always greeted by an immediate follow-up text informing me that I can “trnsfr from sav1-xxxx, bal $0.19, reply T, space, amt.” Obviously extremely useful information because, let’s be honest, what else am I going to do with that 19 cents in my savings account other than transfer it directly to my checking account and spend away!
Long story short: it looks like upgrading the Edna-40 hands to Coors Light and Tecate broke the bank. That’s the last time I choose booze over food. HA! Kidding, obviously.