Under Armour

There’s a new Under Armour TV advertisement out there that does little other than motivate me to spend the rest of my probably short and definitely obese life locked in my closet, which is a spandex/velour-only zone. A word to the marketing geniuses out there who created this ad–the best way to sell workout clothes to the general female public is by putting your clothes on some serious beasts so that when I watch this commercial my reaction is “I would look WAY better in that than her, and I’m going to buy that halter and yoga pant set just to prove it!” Showing me an 80-pound chickenhead hanging from a stripper swing and doing reverse sit-ups is only going to make me want a Twinkie.

I was going to insert an image here of a really fat girl in workout clothes to prove my point but when you Google “fat girl in workout clothes” or any iteration of that phrase, the only things that come up are pictures of really, really tight bodied ladies with minimal clothes and this picture, which is absolutely hilarious but in few ways relevant to this post.




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