As the case may be, there is more action in a nursing home than the Jersey Shore house this season, which explains why MTV pawned off a two-hour episode, both hours of which sucked for everyone but eight-year old children, who don’t yet appreciate the subtleties of a good party house and I hope weren’t watching Jersey Shore anyway. I ended up ironing through the first hour, and finished off my dishes and mopping (Swiffer, duh) during the second. Not unlike what happened on this week’s episode.
The Jersey Bore
If I wanted to watch the lives of people in relationships, who get along, attempt to exercise restraint and responsibility, and hang out sober, I would spend more time with my friends. That’s not what I want to watch though, nor is it what MTV is paying these assholes to do. They are being paid to live a life that the rest of us certainly don’t want to live but definitely do want to watch. Fighting with boys, crying at the bar–been there, done that, will do it again. Boring. The episode ends with a game night in–something I would expect from a Nickelodeon series starring Justin Bieber four years ago, not MTV and the douche bags who hang out at the Jersey Shore. No need for a spoiler alert here, stay far, far away from this season. I party harder in my sleep, but you aren’t invited to watch.