The nation is abuzz about Hurricane Sandy which is currently making a pearl in the vagina of cities across the East Coast. In solidarity with my brothers and sisters in the storm’s path who “hunkered down” the better part of today (that seems to be the description du jour) I decided not to work today either. Don’t get me wrong, I went to work, but didn’t do work. After all, getting there is work enough and being seen there is the part that really counts. Instead of working, I spent the day eating at my desk and following with great interest the pertinent news coverage of this storm, such as the following:
- CNN bans the term ‘Frankenstorm’ on the basis that a storm with such killing potential should not be the subject of jokes.
- The Huffington Post did not get this memo and runs story on “shirtless horse-man who interrupts hurricane.” Certainly breaking news even in the event there were no hurricane, some asshole with an in-process beer gut and horse-head mask has made national news (if you call it that) for running around without a shirt and generally looking like he doesn’t run or wear that horse head very often.
Forecasters are predicting walls of water, flooding, and power loss but they sure as shit didn’t predict a shirtless horse man! They also didn’t predict that a bunch of uppity New York City residents would spend hours upon hours arguing on the internet about exactly how empty the NYC subway stations get at 4 a.m. and whether or not it comes close to having no people in them, which is their current state and, oh, by the way, how horrifyingly eerie it is to see?! But unfortunately that conversation happened too; even more unfortunate that I stumbled across it. Come on people, go clean your 250 sq. apartment or something. On the plus side, any remnants of Occupy Wall Street are probably gone, along with much of Wall Street itself. Well, sometimes you have to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
In local news, Governor Gary Johnson will be speaking at the University of Colorado, where a storm of stoned idiots is always brewing. I hope Gov. Johnson will address Hurricane Sandy and the adequacy of preparedness measures, while also addressing exactly who the hell he is and why he deserves to be President of the United States more than Roseanne Barr.