Breakfast of Champ!

I had a cup of coffee and a Blue Bunny Champ! for breakfast this morning and the only thing I am ashamed of is that I didn’t care enough to get up and clean off the spilled chocolate and ice cream melange that accumulated on my skirt during the meal.  And I’m not really ashamed per se … more worried because this stain brings out the toothpaste stain on my black shirt.   I’m blaming that on my Sonicare, which somehow manages to deposit a toothpaste stain in the same spot day after day.  It is clearly defective.

But to be honest, it’s been a slow and steady decline since I joined the professional work force years ago.  First, it was the full suit that fell by the wayside, replaced by sweaters and skirts, then raggedy tee shirt tops, and–for one very special week–sweatpants.  The hair went next, to the extent there was ever any effort in that area in the first instance.  I now only brush my hair twice a week which rarely if ever corresponds with days I’ve washed it–which are few and far between of late.  Shaving these days is reserved for the five or six times a year I make it into a hot tub, and I forget to put deodorant on so often that I have a second stick at the office, which I forget about more often than not.

All that being said, my physical appearance rarely affects my performance, except when I forget to wear a bra and that throws everything off.  But lately, I’ve had an incredibly hard time focusing on the work aspect of my job, even with a bra on, and this “work aspect of my job” happens to comprise my entire job so the situation is a bit problematic.  I can’t tell if its because I know my bosses would prefer I didn’t work here anymore or because I seem to be unable to perform work here anymore.  These two points may also be related, and having made this connection I just illustrated that I am still capable of some level of deductive reasoning–a skill I do not have a need for in my current position.  What I do have a current need for in my position is another Champ! but that was the last one, so a package of Sour Patch Kids is going to have to do.  Maybe the sugar on these candies will bedazzle the ice cream stain.  One can only hope!


2 thoughts on “Breakfast of Champ!

  1. Excellent post, so accurate. I have this theory that everyone has a smartness threshold (a bit like Lilo’s picture of Stitch’s good and bad level in the film). Even in the early eager days of trying to act like a model employee, the crispest shirt, pressed trousers (pants), and a tie, could only ever get me up to around 75% of what the model employee should look like. Time and cynicism have of course taken their toll since then, and I take great pride in being mistaken for a tramp who’s managed to wander into the building nowadays…

    1. I’m relieved to find that I am not alone in having completely given up in giving a shit. I, too, am commonly mistaken for the office tramp, but in a different context than how you used the word.

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