Well, well, well … look who came out on top last night.
Yep, Mary Jane. Well … and black people, and hippies, and Snoop, and obviously President Obama.
It looks like I have egg on my face (probably mixed with weed butter in preparation for a pot-omelet). As you may remember, or may not remember depending on your level of addiction, I wrote a post a few months ago calling attention to a shocking and groundbreaking scientific finding–weed makes people stupid. Those were not my findings, although we didn’t need an expensive medical experiment to tell us that, just head down to your local anywhere on April 20 to catch stoned stupidity in action. The point is, someone other than me (someone smarter but probably not better looking) has come to that same conclusion and has some sort of data to back it up. My data is the city of Breckenridge where it’s a veritable walking dead of walking dipshits out there. But scientists don’t consider that real data, and my point with this is actually not to rail on pot smoker again, I’m just so good at it I can’t stop myself. And I am slightly disappointed that the drug becoming socially acceptable isn’t something more initiative-inducing–like meth. If you’re going to legalize any drug, it might as well be a drug that will motivate you to do something, like clean your carpet or chew through your teeth. Anyway …
My real point is to introduce an initiative I plan on spearheading in 2014 that will dwarf the social impact of this stupid pot amendment. Cats for Cancer. This is the second iteration of the initiative, the first–Pussies for Patients–didn’t fly well in the focus group. But the intent is the same and that is to provide feline friends to patients suffering from various forms of cancer. Cats, obviously, have a therapeutic effect, at least on old people and me, and I’m confident their presence could positively impact the quality of life for many who suffer from this awful disease. And like all good sociopolitical movements, if it doesn’t prove to be effective there is a fail safe, which is pot. This, too, has been proven to have an impact on individuals suffering from various ailments, including cancer and chronic productivity (in the case of the latter, completely alleviating it). OK, I guess I have some kinks to work out in this plan, but watch for the grassroots movement in your state and pray it succeeds because plan B is Grams for Gramma.