When I woke up at 4:30 a.m., coughing to the point of choking, I was both ecstatic and a bit disappointed because the world did not, in fact, end. I had anxiously been following the Huffington Post’s live blog of the apocalypse (which does nothing to refute my mother’s claims that bloggers are talentless hacks) before going to bed, but I just couldn’t manage to stay up past 9:30 p.m. Had the world ended, I would have been really disappointed to have missed the meteor, planet, killer solar flare, or geomagnetic reversal (whatever the hell that is) but thankfully the only thing I missed was the end of the nightly news and my cat throwing up a hairball.
I spent a decent amount of time yesterday thinking about the end of the world, and all the things I would like to accomplish before that time. The list is quite long and much of it generic (see Japan, sky dive, snuggle with a tiger) but there are a few non-traditional things that I would like to knock off that list and after narrowly escaping the apocalypse early this morning, I’m beginning to think I should start acting on some of these things, especially those that are more immediately attainable.
For example … well, before I jump into this particular must-do-before-the-world-ends item, I want to say that I, myself, can be pretty creepy sometimes and not only that, I am also intrigued and enticed by creepy things. So, there is a general air of creepiness about me and many of my activities that will become even more obvious as you realize that one of my life goals is to make these …
… and further that these are made out of cat hair. That’s right, I want to make cat-hair dolls. Specifically, cat cat-hair dolls. Fortunately for me–perhaps unfortunately for the rest of you–there are people who have already thought of and achieved this feat. In fact, there is an entire book dedicated to creeps like me–Crafting with Cat Hair, which I will promptly order from Amazon after finishing this post–and there are blogs out there with detailed step-by-step instruction manuals.
I may not be creative but boy can I follow a set of instructions! The best thing about crafting with cat hair is that it’s almost completely free. Well, maintaining the source of the cat hair is not necessarily cheap what with pet rent, vet visits, fancy cat condos, hypoallergenic food, ripped couches, destroyed carpets, half-chewed plants, and premium quality felt mice, but after all that, he is kind enough to shed pounds upon pounds of hair a week for me. I’ve tried taping this excess hair back to the cat, but three hours, one hospital visit, and a week of antibiotics later, I realized that wasn’t an appropriate route to go. Now, I’m thinking that with my acute ability to create creepy things, I should start making dolls out of the hair and sell them to even creepier people at the flea market, or perhaps even door-to-door to target the cat-hoarder market, which I imagine would be lucrative.
Anyway, I have a lot of research yet to do, and some serious trash-can pillaging to get to before I can begin creating these cat crafts, so stay tuned and be prepared to be totally creeped out (assuming you aren’t already).