Pie Chart Friday: Blog Traffic edition

Whenever ago, I shared with you some of the search terms that brought readers to Cats In Your Pants. At that time, there sure as shit were a few disappointed internet surfers out there, and after another review of search terms I am pleased to tell you that the situation has not changed. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • compare “addiction” to the “need for trousers”: Looks like someone out there is trying to get out of wearing pants to work. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this need for trousers about which you lament is nothing but a stupid societal norm imposed on all of us, except the morbidly obese because, come on, they can’t fit into pants. So suck it up, suck it in, and put those God damn pants on.
  • ejaculating in your pants stories: Good point, I definitely need more of those stories on this blog. And, if I may point out, there wouldn’t be ejaculating in your pants stories if people didn’t wear pants, so … yay pants!
  • how to make your hymen ring stretch: I think you mean “why make your hymen ring stretch” and I don’t think you’ll find any reasonable answer on the internet other than “so you can stick a lollipop in it.”
  • women admitting shitting their pants: Whoever searched for this obviously found a home here. Welcome and send me your story–I’ll send you (all) mine.
  • illegal drugs that make you shit your pants: There are enough legal drugs that make you shit your pants, why the need for the illegal stuff?! But if I had to speculate, I would say all of them except for bath salts because if you’re on bath salts, chances are good you aren’t wearing pants.
  • women shit haribo: Obviously searched by someone who doesn’t eat Haribo, otherwise they would know you can’t shit after Haribo, let alone shit Haribo. With respect to that latter point, thank God, otherwise I just may be eating shit for breakfast.
  • put on the bra bitch: Uh … no.
  • I like fat girls, fat girls in tight clothes, fat girl tight clothes, fat girls in tight clothes pics: Someone out there had a fat girl montage and apparently ended up on my blog each time.
  • world’s most accurate pie chart: Please see any pie chart located on this blog. Duh.
  • sticking a cat down my pants: Obvious questions aside, good luck with that.
  • cat hymen break: There are some sick fucks out there …
  • chances of getting some ass pie chart: Here you go:

not good


2 thoughts on “Pie Chart Friday: Blog Traffic edition

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