Ice Ice Baby: Office Remix

Here is a song about my day, with a few liberties taken, in the tune (and swagger) of Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”:

(queue hi hat with a souped up tempo)

alright stop, get off my ass and listen
there’s no toner left so quit your bitching
nothing is gonna make that Xerox print shit
it needs to be replaced, can’t you see the button’s lit?
will it ever start, yes! ask Tammi to address
the fact it doesn’t work and then give it a fuckin rest
isn’t it obvi that I’m on a fucking deadline
leave me alone and stop wasting my time

Chillin, in my ergo chair
this dude’s still trippin and he thinks I care
unhinged, I’m losing it real quick
one more fuckin word and I’m unleashing on this dick
shut up or shove off
get the fuck out of my way
being your assistant
is a game I won’t play
if you’ve got a problem, no, I won’t solve it
get Tammi on the phone and have her resolve it

now that’s it afternoon
I’m kickin it back in my prefab cube
sitting on a call, and the call’s running long
this douche comes back trying to say that I’m wrong
he says he needs the specs printed out real fast
sounds like not my problem bitch, kiss my ass,
and fuck off, because I’m over this shit
if I hear it one more time you’re gonna get hit
wishing, I had an office door
I’d shut that bitch so he couldn’t bother me no more
but guy can’t let it go
I said the FUCKING TONER’S LOW
you think I’m gonna fix it, FUCK NO!
if you’ve got a problem, no, I won’t solve it
it’s the secretary’s God damn job to resolve it

 

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2 Comments

    1. catsinyourpants

      Thank you! It received a less than warm response when posted, as you can see, and I shed a few tears as a result because I thought it was hilarious. Then again, that’s never a good indicator of what’s actually funny. Like that video of the dude punching the baby…. Hilarious. And wrong. Definitely wrong…
      Anyway, thanks for reading!!

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