break out the mellowcreme, it’s Halloween

Happy Halloween!

I can barely contain myself; I’m so excited it’s Halloween. This is hands down my favorite holiday, save Christmas in the years before I turned seven and my mother crushed my dreams by revealing that Santa Claus did not, in fact, exist. It’s been like this ever since:

I learned that day that lying in the face of an honest question could keep dreams alive, and I’ve been employing that technique daily ever since.

I’ve been up since 3:30 AM today, mulling over what I’m going to wear, diving through the first three bags of candy corn, and frantically searching for a gluten free alcoholic beverage into which I could cram pumpkin. Tequila didn’t work, Fireball was just terrible, and now we’re onto white wine. Whoever said I don’t have grit and determination just hasn’t seen me mourn the loss of pumpkin beer (and probably hasn’t seen me drunk at 3 AM trying to get my refrigerator door closed). But if there’s one thing that will combat overwhelming sadness, it’s sure to be pumpcohol.

Regardless, it’s all I’ve got today, so let’s run with it (and when we can’t run, slow walking or crawling will suffice).

In honor of my very favorite day, the most exciting holiday of the year, and you, my friends, here’s a Halloween pie chart of the spookiest things I could think of. Because I love you (but never as much as I love Halloween).

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