stigmatic. stupid. stitches.

Jesus gave up on me long ago, and that’s only if—big if—he even had an interest in me after I defecated all over the doctor who delivered me some undisclosed number of years ago. I don’t think it gets any more ‘mark of the beast’ than that. So, there has never really been a religious […]


Now call it a comeback.

Guess who’s back!  Fortunately it’s not Eminem despite MTV and local radio protests to the contrary. Much like the Razor Scooter on college campuses across the country, I have returned, which may not exactly be a top shelf news item but is potentially worthy of some attention nonetheless. I’ve spent the last few wintery months hibernating […]


Move over Mustache Movember

Looks like it’s that time of the year again. Time when men around the country prioritize making me not want to sleep with them by growing disgusting mustaches and blaming it on a charitable cause that they just can’t remember right now. I could throw 100 men committed to Mustache Movember into another crowd of […]