thank you, I think …

I started this blog immediately after quitting Facebook, primarily as a means through which to ensure that my emotionally charged neuroses have an outlet that is not my office or my shitty, over-priced, and dog-shit ridden apartment complex.  See, an outburst on par with those I am capable of having could send me to jail […]

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everybody get together

Amidst the political, economic, religious, and social tension dividing our society and making our neighbors more akin to strangers than ever before, I want to remind everyone of a simple truth.  We should not be divided into Democrats or Republicans, pro-life or pro-choice, liberal or conservative, Christian or Muslim.  There are, in fact, only two […]

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mug shots to murder for

I have a history of absolutely incredible philanthropic ideas because in the 21st century world of development and fundraising, one can find funding for almost any cause.  Seriously. Need medical care for your dwarf horse who services blind folk?  Ask the Guide Horse Foundation.   Need assistance for your deformed human dwarf?  Mobility International USA […]

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bitches get stitches

There are very few instances in which you walk out the door knowing you are going to end up in the hospital before the night’s end, but by 6:30 p.m. this past Saturday I knew. I’ve always had a knack for recognizing a bad decision, even when I’m engaging in and thoroughly enjoying making one, […]

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reality

It’s been a rough weekend, readers, and after watching episodes of the Wonder Years and getting blitz drunk, I’m starting to come out of my funk. Many thanks are owed to Fred Savage who is gorgeous and innocent and if he were at my house Monday night I would have wrestled that out of him. […]

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slopera 2013

I come from a family of drinkers, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when they started ordering round after round of drinks during our pre-opera brunch date this past weekend. I figured there would be a few glasses of white wine thrown around (and hopefully a few actual consumed) but I was not anticipating the brunch […]

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cats in your dancing pants

Summer 2013 is the summer of love, at least for a few of my friends whose long-awaited weddings are finally occurring.  Single-lady cynicism aside, weddings are my time to shine–on the dance floor, at least.  No one makes 6 inch heels and the Chicken Dance look sexier and more inappropriate than I, which is why […]

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This is 32

I got to spend the weekend with this guy.  Jealous?  Yeah, you should be. If you’re wondering what’s going on don’t, because I really can’t explain it.  I will say that where there is one adult onesie, there are bound to be more.  And where there are multiple adult onesies, there are bound to be […]

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Hey Creutzfeldt-Jakob, I’m El

I am very rapidly losing my mental faculties.  While the first suspect would be Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease from that stint in Europe during which I happened to drink far too much to caution me out of consuming an unhealthy amount of McDonald’s mad-cowburgers, after consulting the internet, neither early onset dementia nor Alzheimer’s is out of […]

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move over iRobot-Roomba 650!

I received an interesting petition request from a policy group to which I belong–the pertinent part is as follows: “Last week we told you about these killer robots – fully autonomous machines, operating without human reason and without human compassion. It might sound like science fiction, but the danger is real, and these robots represent […]

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GFY Home Depot

I’m doing some home-improvement type stuff for my attitude. Like real home improvement programs, I will most likely abandon it after expending a bunch of money and effort. Who am I kidding, I haven’t attempted or even thought to attempt a single home-improvement project in my life. I think you need an actual home for […]

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Boeing’s 787 NightTerrorliner

I am one of many who, no doubt, have been affected by the worldwide grounding of Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner.  I fully understand the decision and, no sarcasm intended, appreciate the airlines’ decisions to “postpone” the inauguration of certain routes relying solely on these aircraft.  But, like everything else in this world, the devil is in […]

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