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Now call it a comeback.

Guess who’s back!  Fortunately it’s not Eminem despite MTV and local radio protests to the contrary. Much like the Razor Scooter on college campuses across the country, I have returned, which may not exactly be a top shelf news item but is potentially worthy of some attention nonetheless. I’ve spent the last few wintery months hibernating […]

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It’s a Beautiful Day in Someone’s Neighborhood

[Queue piano ditty.] [Screen text: Missus Abernathy’s ShadyHood] [Enter trolly car from the left, pan right following trolly.] [Zoom to yellow house mid-screen, with quick camera transition to flashing yellow traffic light.] [Camera pans left as I enter the room singing “A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood”–poorly and off key.] [Stopping at the closet, I […]

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lean in or crouch and urinate?

Oh hey, Sheryl, here I am, leaning in with one foot up on the Facebook table, wearing my designer skirt and fanciest pair of granny panties. I hope you can see them, they’re bunching like it’s nobody’s business. I’m probably not the person you wanted leaning in to this table but I think myself capable […]

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seeking misery, not company

Everyone has those times when things in life are coming up Milhouse, so much so that you need to chase after something that will make you completely miserable, just to even things out.  I find myself at this stage, so have been kicking around the idea of getting back on Facebook.  As you may know, […]

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Dear Crabby

I’ve always wanted to run an advice column–well, “always” being the last two weeks. An unfortunate side effect of my attention span being the size of Tyrion Lannister is that my dreams and aspirations are short lived.  On the plus side, failure is infrequent because there is no time for it.  Initially (two weeks ago), […]

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